Chapter I: But Why is the Rum Gone?

It’s been roughly a week. I figured I would be all nice and whatnot; you know, update this thing. I’m gonna try to honestly keep up with this blog thing. After all, what’s the point in having it if I never use it? If I’m never going to update it, then I might as well get rid of it – but I’m honestly trying to put my thoughts somewhere instead of in the bottle, like I have been for almost ten years. Isn’t it horrible when you can say “I haven’t done that in ten years”? I feel just a bit too old when I say that kind of thing but I won’t turn eighteen for another…what, five months? Maybe I shouldn’t be saying that I feel old, but I do. It’s that whole “I’m too young to feel this damn old” deal. But whatever…

So, I’ve been doing pretty much nothing. I did go to my friend Mikala’s house for a few days. That was fun. It was about four days and three nights of utter nonsense but it was all quite hilarious and such what. We talked about boys, talked about sex, talked about people, talked about games, played video games, stayed outside in the heat until ten at night, dumped ice water over each other’s heads, and did other silly things that made us laugh until a rest room was need. All terribly wonderful – it makes me sad that the summer is ending.

I HAVEN’T MET HER BUT I ALREADY HATE MY NEW ENGLISH TEACHER. D:<>

So Chris is enjoying Florida for the weekend. I think he gets back on Monday. I miss him, but I’m currently a little sick so I haven’t had too much time to feel horrible about it. It did make me rather sad when he told me that he’d be gone the entire weekend and that he wasn’t likely to have his phone on him. But I figure that I’m handling it better than some other people I know – unlike the people I’m thinking of, I don’t cry and sob because plans to see the boyfriend or whatever don’t work out. But I’m a little better about keeping myself together even without the boyfriend around. Though, I’m missing the nightly phone calls we had going. I guess things get busy. But there isn’t much to be done except keep going on with life, aye? – I love you babe. (:

My friend Lily is going off to college soon. And I’m going to miss her very much. ): There isn’t much else to be said about that, except that I’m going to really hate not having her around. She’s so awesome and such an amazing person. But I know she’ll do a fantastic job at Fairmount. Good luck, love.

Since I’m watching the POTC marathon they’re having on USA, I’m going to end this here and say adieu, until next time.

Prologue: the Basic Need-to-Knows

To be perfectly honest, I only got this blog to watch my friend Kelsey's blog; someone told me once that a blog, or an internet journal is a great way to keep yourself sane. Even if it's the only way you can vent your thoughts and get things, no matter how big or how little, off your chest - it can do you wonders. Wonders that I'm sure most of us can hardly even imagine. Personally, I think having someone, anyone, just one person - just one person that I trust reading my blog? That alone would be enough to put my mind to rest. Someone there to listen - someone there to remind me that I'm not just talking to myself.

Anyway, since I have the blog, I guess I'll do the smart thing and take my own advice, you know? I can use it to get some things off my chest and talk, even though I'm pretty sure that not many people are gonna read because, let's get real - how many of my friends honestly, truly pay attention? If I had to guess, here's my list: Lily, Kelsey, Mikala, Jeb, Chris, and Jasi. And if I'm being bluntly honest, I'm not even entirely sure that everyone on that list listens to me as much as I'd like. That's just being optimistic. I should probably point out that I'm not usually a very optimistic person; being pessimistic is easier for me. I've never really been positive. Positive has gotten me more tears and sad nights than it has happy moments.

In case you can't tell, life has given me more reasons to doubt the good things and have faith in things going wrong. I'll get into that as it comes up, but don't worry; all of that will come in time. Not right now, of course. Silly you. Expecting answers right away- that's funny. Stupid, but funny. I'm not horribly open. That's another problem. See. While I'm sure that this blog WILL be a great chance for me to get shit off my chest and let things go - all that wonderful jazz and nonsense. While that is all true, the first problem that I have to get past is my complete unwillingness to trust in anything immediately.

So that's something we're gonna work on.

Okay. To finish off, here's a rapid fire of random facts about myself; I'm almost a legal adult. I'm in school. I'm the youngest of three. I have two brothers. My parents are separated and planning to divorce. I write. I love most kinds of music. I've tried smoking. I've tasted alcohol. I like to watch shows like Burn Notice and NCIS. I'm nonreligious. I like and collect knives. I support the troops. I hate politics but I'm a killer at debate. I'm planning on majoring in Behavioral Psychology in college and minoring in English. I've had several poems published, I've written two books; neither of which have been published. I'm almost cruelly blunt, smarter than I act, more mature than I let on, and not easily fooled, I don't like liars - so don't bother trying. A lot of people think I'm this aggressive person, but I'm really not. I'm pretty chill and laid back about most things. I'm actually a pacifist. So, yea.

Well. That's all I got for right now. I might come up with more later. It's officially three AM. Kelsey, if you're reading this- be proud of yourself. I got a blog. XD and it's just to follow yours. and, you know, attempt to do healthy things like... vent. XD

Good night and farewell for now.